Road to 21.

On the 4^th of April 2013, I turned BIG 21.

My peers are on their 2^nd children and more, however, I remember Gayton McKenzie saying “wouldn’t it be nice if Black girls broke the curse of “an apple doesn’t fall far from a tree”” by that he meant that if your grandmother had her first child at 18 and your mother fell in the same footsteps, why can’t you be different?? Those words gave me enough reason to stay a virgin and work on empowering myself. And I’m sure we all know Dj Sbu’s 7B’s “Books Before Boys, Because Boys Bring Babies”, I’d like to think that that’s self-explanatory.

Turning 21, for me was not only about not having a baby, 21 for me means celebrating my growth as a young woman celebrating my life’s challenges well or bad. I believe I’ve been through a lot, but most importantly I didn’t break. I’m grateful to all the relationships I built with my family, relatives and friends, it’s the bonds that I’ve built with these special people that kept me sane. To God, my source of refugee, my Big Daddy, thank you for everything, it’s only now that I understand and have made sense why I had to go through everything I’ve been through.

For my 21^st my mother said the most important words to me, “my child you are now in your second gear of life, your first was passing your matric, your second is turning 21 and being celebrated as a beautiful young lady, your third gear should be graduating and fourth getting job and lastly your fifth gear should be doing whatever your heart desires “that for me is just enough to empower myself and be the best that I can be. My 21^st key is a watch and a bracelet and my mom asked me to define the gift myself and I said to her “time waits for no man; I have to work hard in order for me to reach my fifth gear in the next years”. I put myself under pressure there however, it has to be done after all a goal or decision without a deadline is merely a discussion with no energy behind it. Thank you Mommy, I love you.

Andiswa Madikane my Big sister, friend and mentor, also got me the best and meaningful 21^st gift, a twin dairy. This is no grudge book keeper but a journal to write my goals and dreams my very own eye bags and dimples. Just because I don’t have Bonnie Henna’s book it doesn’t mean I cannot write my own “fake it, till you make it” but I’m not faking anything I’m just giving myself the same dose of inspiration as reading eye bags would’ve given me. Thanks Andiswa, Minnie you is making it step by step, I love you is that okay?

To everyone else who made my 21^st birthday the best, thanks a million, I really am a special loved Khensi. How did I do it? Self-love, wisdom and God’s word is my GPS, value my worth as a young woman, ask questions and its okay to have your dreams critised constructively in order for you to grow.

Thanks for reading my serving, go out there and shine like the diamond that you are and God bless my Desire family abundantly xoxo!

KhensiNova!

It’s just hair after all.

I don’t know if this is a sign of poverty or what hence I’ve never been one to have weaves. I think that’s why I got the shock of my life when my baby sisters are constantly demanding weaves from mom. Throughout my Primary school I’ve had short hair because my late grandmother thought it was time consuming to tie my hair in a ponytail every morning before school and the monthly routine of relaxing and plaiting my hair would just not work out.

I remember how I’d look like a boy in short hair to top it all off, I think this is when my self-esteem was at its lowest because I didn’t like or appreciate what I saw in the mirror and everyone would tease me about my big forehead. Yes I do have a big forehead and one of my cousins once said I dream in 3D. I’m sure you could imagine the emotions that came with all of that teasing, I call it emotional bullying, family or not as long as it hurt my feeling its bullying lol.

There was a time I thought my hair would never grow long because my grandmother had no mercy on me she just took the siccors and cut my hair. When I started attending Die Laerskool Danie Malan I remember my mom took me to the salon and I got the most painful hairstyle I ever experienced “Straight Back.” Tjrrrrrrr man, dia ding is baie seer mann nie meer tot vandag I haven’t had the hearts or the bravery to do it. I’m really scared of pain. Since I moved with my mother, she made sure my hair was always done and I looked beautiful for school because I was attending what was called a model C and there was silent competition because we were like 20 black students in our grade alone, the first black class at Laerskool Danie Malan.

So my mom would buy Beautiful Beginnings by Dark ‘n lovely and relax my hair monthly. I used to love mixing the relaxer for my mom and I'd sit between her legs with excitement that my hair is going to be long and straight but it always ended in a fight because I was restless and never sat still, for that reason I didn’t have the privilege to go to salons. Nevertheless, I enjoyed getting hair done at home.

Then it was time for high school, I went to Die Hoerskool Pretoria-Noord and black students were outnumbered by the whites students so there was that hidden hairstyle competition amongst us. My hair started growing at a rate I loved because I had one of the longest hairs amongst black students. I’d get con-rows during summer and winter time was a treat for me because it was time to braid my hair so it doesn’t fall of. If I was a good kid my mom would take me to the salon for treatment every two weeks or once a month because really I had shampoo, conditioner, hair moisturing products from dark ‘n lovely, also had a blow dryer and a tong.

I was really never bothered by the fact that I got the home made version of hair treatment because I looked better than those that claimed to have paid a lot of money at the salon. The most common hairstyles amongst us were Yaki, twist and straight back in different patterns. The only thing that I could handle was twist because I just brushed, put spray and I was go to go. Yaki was the old versions of fake long hair because not a lot of people were weave wise. I’d always laugh at those who were careless and left it tangled what a sad story. And if you know me too well I avoid complicated hairstyles because I love laughing at other people.

So all I knew from my high school days were cornrows, two ponytails or one ponytail on the side or braided hair till today. I always tell people that I thank God that my mom didn’t let me bully hair into taking me to salons and doing expensive hairdos as a sign of an off show.

The first time I got a weave I was in matric and it was for my matric dance, it cost my mom R500, the fibre and to get it sowed on. For me that was a lot of money because it was my first time spending so much money on fake hair because my real hair was as long as a 10” weave. I only lasted 2 weeks with the weave because I couldn’t tolerate the itching effect that came with fake hair. Patting my head and giving myself a headache was just not worth it. I couldn’t even look after it because as much as its 100% human hair it wasn’t my hair.

During my gap year I got a bob kinda looking weave because I was modelling at fashion show which only lasted for 3 weeks on my head. I honestly can’t deal with weaves, they frustrate me, I feel like everyone has their eyes on me for all the wrong reason, I felt like I lost my identity and I wasn’t Khensani anymore, I don’t know how to explain but it is one of those things in life. I’m just not comfortable with period.

Today when I look at my school photos I can proudly say that I looked like a school kid and I didn’t compete with any teacher not that I’m saying those with weaves compete with their teachers, hence if the shoe fits wear it.

After my matric exams I decided to go blonde and cut my hair, hehehe. Khensi gone badly, I had a Mohawk, on my sides my hair was cut in different patterns. I really thought I was the hottest thing alive. This dragged on into my gap and only in august did I start growing my hair again. I feel like it’s a phase I had to go through because the timing was perfect for me to experiment and enjoy the phase. Imagine blonde hair with that navy blue uniform. My aim throughout high school was to respect my school code of conduct, the uniform, and my teachers and up hold the values of my school by not shaming my parents and those around me.

Ever since I started studying in university I decided to keep my hair brown and enhance it now and then with a blonde tint and all. Till today I’m a stranger at the salon and people this is not an act of poverty, it’s just a choice. I don’t like people touching my hair. My mother still relaxes it and I enjoy every minute of it. I go to the salon when I’m lazy to wash my own hair because it’s my responsibiity.

All that I’m trying to say is that, find a look that you are comfortable with and stick to it. Of cause we change and grow with time and our looks are subject to change, look at your facial structure and go for a hairstyle that suits you. Don’t do hairstyles or spend money on hairdos that don’t even suit you because you are trying to fit in because you are going to end up with a problem. At times we don’t know where our friends get money to do their hair and you are always nagging your family or relatives because someone else has the hair do. What if that person won a competition and didn’t tell you about it and you get in debt because someone else in your class has it? Don’t do anything outside your means because you will get into trouble because you wanted to fit in. of cause some people can afford it because money is not a problem and the problem for them is how they spend the money. We are not the same.

Now I don’t mind walking around in short hair or tying my hair into a bun and showing of my big forehead which shows my dreams in 3D. At times I forget my forehead is big because I feel it’s good enough for my head and in proportion with my the rest of my body. I have a million flaws but it’s important to love myself and accept what I can’t change about myself.

Appreciate yourself by accepting the circumstances that God has put in. Love yourself ALWAYS, Be Beautiful and Do you! Run your own race and leave other people to run their own races. As long as someone didn’t invite you to run with them stay in your lane. You are clay in the Potters hands, always remember that.

KhensiNova!

 

Viva My Legend Papito

So like, we all know that I don’t know my biological father and if you didn’t know now you know. I won’t lie and say it didn’t bother me for the longest time because it did quite a lot. I often asked myself what is wrong with me, why me and always beat myself up about.

With time I came to the realisation that I have an awesome grandpa who’s always there for me and plays the father role figure like a pro.

I believe I have one of the sweetest grandpa’s in the world no doubt.

My grandpa taught me how to pray. He was a great part of me getting saved. He taught me how to live a Christ like life. I never met a man with so much love and knowledge. I remember telling him that I’m going to study politics and he just said “Khensi, politics are one dirty game and no, you not going to study that.” Thank God I listened because indeed they are a dirty game. I’m too awesome for politics and like my first year lecturer Mr Ngaba would say “everyone who isn’t studying law and is studying polical science, is studying JUMPOLOGY”. I’m just saying!

Back to the King of my heart. Grandpa isn’t only a grandparent, he is my best friend. It’s just so amazing how grandpa and I just lock ourselves in the house and just talk utter nonsense and if you ask me ANC and Julius Malema makes the most interesting and funny conversations ever. My love for watching news and reading about current comes from the chill sessions I had with my husband. Well, he is my husband because I want a man to be just like him, okay let’s just say more or less like him well I think that’s fair. Every morning my nigga would go buy the newspaper, Pretoria news for him, Sowetan for him, Daily Sun for my late sister and The Citizen for him and I to share with my twin brother Rhulani but he always takes the section that talks about cars ai.

The only thing that gets to me about him is that he watches the news channel all day. This man wakes up at 06:00am to just watch the news. If you want to watch soapies he makes sad faces and talks about the news which automatically changes the channel back to Aljazeera but I love him anyway.

One of the best conversations I had with my grandpa was whilst watching generations a while back and a character by the name of Dineo was so obsessed with finding her biological father. My grandpa said this to me”Khensi, if you ever write to Khumbule’khaya and ask them to help locate your father I will be very hurt because in me you have everything that your heart desires, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you come rain or sunshine.”

Besides from watching the news and bonding over current affairs, we support the same football team. I believe my grandpa is the best Orlando Pirates supporter alive. His love for football got him injured at Ellis Park once upon a time when most Chiefs and Pirates supporters got injured and some losing their lives may their souls rest in peace. We lucky grandpa only got away with an almost broken jaw and he underwent a minor operation.

The past recess I started appreciating my grandpa’s knowledge even more. Every time his favourite grandson (Rhulani) and granddaughter (Khensi) drive him around he always tells us the history of towns and buildings.  I really value his knowledge.  He even took it upon himself to teach me how to speak Xitsonga properly and be a proud young Xitsonga lady. He respects us as much as we respect him.

We talk so often over the phone and every time 2 weeks pass without making contact he just expresses how it breaks his heart that he doesn’t know how I am doing. Only a father would feel this way and I am truly blessed.

If ever you feel sad and unloved because you don’t have a biological father just know that it’s time for you to identify someone in the family or in the community who you trust whole heartedly to play that role. You don’t have to have someone’s genetic or DNA make up for them to play the father role. Pray about this and as scary as it seems it will be okay. Just don’t go around seeking comfort in all the wrong places like drugs, alcohol and older men who are not married to you. For someone who doesn't know her dad I think no wait, I know I turned out just fine. Everything really happens for a reason.

Love yourself and appreciate the life that God has given you and remember God gives his toughest challenges to his strongest soldiers. Stay blessed.

Law Retreat 2013- Forest Way!

So this year I decided that I’m going to go to the Law retreat and stop rebeling since, I thought I was fly and too cool for camps in university, oh boy was I wrong!

Forest Way was our destination and sorry to say but the previous years programs were boring compared to this year’s retreat. We were taken to the forest and forced to bond with each other through out-door activities and obstacle courses.

This was so eye-opening because through team work, I realised how much I needed the support of my team mates. I wouldn’t have made it to the other of the wall if I was alone but with the help of my team mates all things were possible and the impossible was conquered. I think having our lecturer Ms Batchelor go through each and every obstacle made it all worth it and we all seemed to grow a positive attitude because if she can do this then who are we to say we can’t? She has been the best role model for most of us and I really bow down to her. She is the perfect example of a leader who leads by example because she indeed leads from the front. Thank you Mam’.

The friendships made, priceless. The existing bond between Lepho and I just grew at a rate that I myself cannot even understand. Being teased because I can’t speak Xhosa and the best part is saying dissing phrases they thought I didn’t know, surprise surprise. Khita, Nkuli, Lepho and Portia you guys were the best roommates ever, so understanding and helpful in everything. We even work up at 03:30am to shower whilst there was hot water. Oh boy, best decision ever because people were already complaining at 06:00am that the water is cold. We in a forest site duh not a hotel; of course hot water will be finished, hahaha. Memories!

Thank you to the team at Forest way for hosting us, great hospitality. Being there was a

Beautiful experience. Thank you.

The intervarsity experience 2013

Captain Fantastic

For some of you guys who don’t know what intervarsity is, it’s an annual event that takes place between the four universities in the Eastern Cape namely Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University, Rhodes University, university of Fort Hare and Walter Sisulu University, during the second weekend of August. I don’t want to lie intervarsity 2013 was too awesome and no, I’m not talking about the after party. I’m referring to the actual event, competing against other universities on the field.

I honestly love the dress code because it’s the only time of the year whereas we get to dress down and for the few that dress up like intervarsity, really? Guys and gents?? Intervarsity is all about rocking our overalls in their respective colours and all stars. No heels or formal swag.  This is that time of the year were we get an opportunity to socialize and make friends with Rhodents, Mdibaz and I don’t know what they call students from WSU because we Forterians.

Now for my highlights, getting on the field and doing what we do best and yes I’m allowed to get a big and get all the credits because yours truly Captain Fantastic Khensi and the dedicated cheerleading squad really put on our A game and cheered for our boys. The half time performance was breath taking and we really surprised a lot of people and I’m glad because we are now given the recognition and respect we’ve been working so hard for.

The cherry on the top was performing in the presence of the Deputy Vice-Chancellor and getting complements galo from him and I quote “you ladies are doing very well representing our university, great performance.” It really feels great being a Cheerlion and leading them. In all truth this really gave myself image as Captain a boost because I felt every was falling apart to get all the positive feedback on Saturday made all the fights and laughs worth it, we serve an awesome God. I take pride in the squad and its steady grow.

Thank you NMMU for hosting us and to everyone who made it memorable. 

Nervous for dayzzzzzz in the change room

Mwah

Can-C!

Overall Swag

Strong Women.

The awesome women in my life.

Gavaza na Khensani

Its amazing how she once just looked like me. My great-grandmother Gavaza. According to her, her mother told her she was born when the first air plane landed in South-Africa in 1909 or 1910, which makes her 104 years old. Our family is really blessed to have such a blessing. God is great. I really am a proud result of her.

Memi and Khensi

Memi is my everything. A great mother and teacher. Her warm loves makes it okay to go through life's challenges and that's what makes her a phenomenal woman!

Mom and I.

Phenomenal woman is what my mommy is and celebrating her everyday is just a MUST!

I'm Blessed.

Life's journey in pictures.

Touching Lives

Injuries on the way...

Taking time to relax

In different shades.

Im officially a legal driver

Taking Time out

Embracing the African in me

Hot Summers day

The Golfer in me

Me Time

My Beautiful Toes hahaha.

Walking for a good cause.

Be Beautiful

Road to weight loss...

Stolen Picture :)

Miss Independent

Grown Woman.

I remember being young and so brave
I knew what I needed
I was spending all my nights and days
Laid back, daydreaming
Look at me, I'm a big girl now
Said I'm gonna do something
Told the world imma paint this town
Now bitches, I run this (Aah!)

[Pre-chorus]
Cause I put it
Down like that (2x)
And I'm making
All these racks (2x)
And I'm moving
Round like that (2x)
When I do it
I don't look back (2x)

[Chorus 1]
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want
I could be bad if I want
I could do wrong if I want
I can live fast if I want
I can go slow all night long
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want

[Verse 2]
You know the way I walk
Because I walk with a vengeance
And they listen to me when I talk
Cause I ain't pretending
It took awhile now I understand
Just where I'm going
I know the woman, I know who I am
It's about time I show it

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus 2]
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want
I could be bad if I want
I can say what I want
I can live fast if I want
I can do whatever I want
(Whatever it is!)

[Bridge]
I'm a grown woman
So I know how to ride it
I'm a grown woman
And I'm so erotic
I'm a grown woman
Look down, got you so excited
I'm a grown woman
Look at my body
It ain't no fun, if a girl can't have none
You really wanna know how I got it like that
Cause I got a cute face and my booty so fat
Go girl!
She got that bomb, that bomb
That girl!
Can get whatever she wants
Go girl!
She got that tight, that tight
Them boys!
They do whatever she like

[Instrumental/chanting]

[Outro - 11x]
I'm a grown woman
I can do whatever I want

I'm a grown woman.

source :http://www.directlyrics.com/beyonce-grown-woman-lyrics.html

Queen of my heart.

So like mom and I haven’t really been friends and I guess sometimes having faith and not giving up on our relationship worked out for the best.  Since, I started University Mama and I have been fighting less and less and guess what, I’m growing up. So certain things aren’t as important anymore but our love for each other. I’ve always longed for a relationship with my mom and I’m proud to say mama and I are finally ‘getting’ each other.

I admire the strength of my mom. The measures she went through to make sure I got the best of the best. The little we have is what brings us together. Mom made sure I got the best education and I doubt I’ll ever be able to repay that. I’m happy I took nothing for granted and I can proudly say I’m a proud strong result Ms Mary Motileni.

There’s so much I love about my mom and that beautiful angelic voice I’m so jealous of. Damn my mom can sing pity I don’t know what happened to me because I’m so tone death. When my mom sings in church, her voice gives me Goosebumps. Eh, that woman’s voice is heavenly sent. She loves her gospel music. She love love love looooooooovvveeeesssssssss cooking. Now you all know where I got my cooking skills, I was taught in high school but it doesn’t come close to my mom’s experience general knowledge cooking. She just has magical hands.

Since, I turned 21 I realised how much my loves me. She went all out and out did herself. Made sure the smile on my face never fades away. This is my year because I’ve managed to get everything I want from my mom something I’ve been failing all my life to get right and only managed to pass at 21 *phew* it’s been a journey though. Sometimes being Miss Independent isn’t nice because she’ll tell me that I’m working where did the money go to, hahaha *shakes head*

Mama thinks I’m the funniest person on earth, which is awesome because now she listens to my type of songs. It came as a shock that mama and I have mad love for Blurred lines by Robin Thicke feat Parrell Williams. We even laugh the same and do our “HE HE HEY’ with a touch of bass when we are totally amused by an incident. It’s come to a point whereas mom adopted my habits of listening to metro FM at work all day and whenever they play the song she sends me a whatsapp text “Nana they playing my song *love struck emotion icon*” He He Hey, the song demon has possessed mama.

I love the part where she starts with her Son-in-law requirement list. She can be very dramatic. But I just love my mom. I don’t even want to start on the debates we have about the law. When I out-shine her she plays the cards that “don’t forget you speak English because of my hard work, you are my reward. I sowed and now I’m reaping the results”. I guess my accent doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to her. *shrugs* but I’m the one who wakes up every morning for lectures and writes those tests oh well, I belong to mama. I normally just node my head and walk away.

Mama. Mom. Mommy. Auntizer. Aun’ Mary. She’s just my rock. My everything. Twinnie. God has blessed us with each other to learn from each other at all times and share our lives together. I’m proud to have such a strong woman as my Queen. You’ve been a mother and a father to me at all times and made sure I’m never short of you love and presence. Happy Woman’s Day My Gorgeous Mom. I love you with my all to the moon and back!

Surprise Surprise.

On the 28^th of June, mom threw me a surprise party will all my closest friends and family.

To my beautiful mother, thank you for everything, I appreciate the little we have and share together. Your motherly wisdom comes in the most unexpected ways and I cherish your words and support today and forever.  Thank you for being my rock, my everything. Only a strong woman can do what you do.  I always tell people that the best gift my mother ever gave me was taking me to the BEST SCHOOLS AND MAKING SURE I GET THE BEST EDUCATION.  What I got is the best of my mother and I’m grateful for that because that’s what I can testify to.

To my grandpa, my best friend, oh nigga I just love you to the moon and back. I don’t have a father hence God made sure that I have the best grandpapa I could’ve ever asked for. The greatest gift you ever gave me was teaching me how to pray and always guiding my spiritual being in the right path. We have the best conversations and you always motivate and make sure you feed me with the right wisdom.  Our bonding sessions over soccer because no one in the family loves soccer like we do. Politics and discussions over current affairs. Our prayer sessions and just being under the same roof and enjoying each other around is just the best. Always taking my side, I can officially say that I’m grandpa’s best granddaughter, your little princess.

To my friends who were able to make it and the wonderful words you guys shared, thank you, thank you. I love you guys to bits and pieces.  I’m so grateful and thankful to God for blessing with the best sisters. “I encourage you to concentrate on those who love you and forget about those who don’t.  ...- if we’ll look to him and stop making bad choices about whom we bring into our circle of inclusion. I believe we need to have what I call “divine connections”. In other words, pray about your circle of friends. Don’t just decide what social group you want to be part of and then try to fit into it. Instead, follow the leading of the holy spiriting choosing with whom you want to associate with closely.” – JOYCE MEYER, THE CONFIDENT WOMAN DEVOTIONAL.

I'm blessed to the highest degree and thank you to everyone for loving and accepting me as I am. God is Awesome!

The Xitsonga Princess has spoken.

Back in primary school I remember being teased and laughed at because Xitsonga is my mother tongue, even though I was fluent in English and abit fair in Afrikaans that didn’t stop them from being cruel and mean to me because I was Tsonga speaking. This really got to me to a point that I hated it so much when my mom spoke Xitsonga in front of my friends, I’d always ignore her in public or reply to her in Setswana especially when my class mates were around, to avoid being teased and laughed at.

In high school I then started to get over the shame that other learners made me feel towards my mother tongue. I started realising what a beautiful language Xitsonga is and how awesome it felt and sounded whenever I communicated with my family.

Just when I thought I won the battle of being shamed by other learners, I’d always hear taxi drivers speak ill of Tsonga speaking people, they even refer to us as “Machangane”. A woman Mochangane is supposedly to be dark, ugly, have big breasts and have big feet. On the other hand, a male “mochangane” is supposedly smelly, dark, have big breasts and only be good enough as someone who does hard labour.

As I got older people learnt that I speak Xitsonga. The more people realised this, the more I was told how I didn’t fit the description of a Tsonga person… “because Khensi happens to be light in completion and that I’m too beautiful to be Tsonga”. This really hurt my feelings and broke my heart because I didn’t understand who died and made these people God or maybe everyone who discriminates against my culture is a deputy Jesus Christ, is something I just failed to understand.

People out there can really be mean, creul and heartless, the awful names that we are called by most cultures are just appalling for example the old time favourite “Makwapa” It just goes to show that South Africans will never be united because we discriminate amongst ourselves. We don’t appreciate how diverse our country is, we always looking for the worst in others instead of embracing and uplifting the good in others.

In February 2012, I met a guy by the name of Mathala, he overheard my conversation with my mother over the phone then he just turned and complemented me by saying “you make Xitsonga sound so sexy, please teach me”. Then i later later I met Andiswa and Akhona Madikane, they just love Xitsonga, we even have a deal, they teach me Xhosa and I teach then Xitsonga, such people I consider true friends and South Africans. They just make a South Africa a better place, not because they want to learn how to speak Xitsonga and Akhona wants a Tsonga boyfriend hahahahahaha, but because they are opened minded and willing to meet others half way, they just appreciate how diverse our country is.

But on the other hand, South Africa doesn’t deserve to be called a rainbow nation, if some of the people living in the country are so narrow minded to a point they’d ask you if Xitsonga is one of the 11 official languages. Like really?? Under which rock do these people live under or maybe I’m the one leaving under a rock and I’m just not aware of it. Is there a requirement for one to be called South African? It’s high time people got up and started feeding their brains with some knowledge and stop being ignorant because the only good thing we seem to be so good at is crushing one another.

I don’t think it is fair for anyone to be shamed for being different from the next person, imagine how boring life could be if we all looked the same, dressed the same, spoke the same language and just looked like twins. It’s okay to have a good laugh every now and then but our happiness shouldn’t come at the expense of other people pain. We have the power of change within ourselves; it’s not hidden under a rock.

So on the 2^nd of January 2012, I was invited to work at DSDC College and help out with some marketing…

whilst I was working one of the students who was upgrading approached me for help but instead i turned to assist this specific student something just kept pushing me to ask her about her home-language and she then said “Ke mo Changane” (I’m Tsonga).

Since she was Tsonga speaking I got all excited and started speaking the language, it always feels good speaking one’s home language after a few hours of non-stop English. Then something about this young girl caught my attention, she kept replying in Setswana. I asked “why are you replying in Setswana, when you are Tsonga speaking?” she then said this to me “ai, a kesi rati” (I don’t like the language). For me that was just so heart breaking.

I blame society to a certain extend because they treat Tsonga people like a disease, like for what? We are people that may smell, look, speak, walk and dance different. Being different doesn’t make it okay for people to speak ill of us. The very same people that treat us like outsiders are the very same people that are walking around in clubs, parties and get togethers and driving in their cars singing or playing Xigubu like they know what it means. You hate Xitsonga speaking people hence you want to dance to a song that is dominated by Xitsonga lyrics. WOW.

I love the work Dj Ganyani and Fiesta black put into Xigubu. Its songs and dances like these that remind me why I’m a proud Xitsonga woman.

By discriminating and belittling one another we actually forget to embrace the beauty of our country and its diversity. South- Africa is my home as much as it is your home. Just because I sound different from you it doesn’t make me less of a person or a South-African.

So my fellow South-Africans lets embrace and celebrate one another and our beautiful cultures at all times. I won’t apologize for speaking out, I’m out-spoken and you better learn to deal. Let’s be independent thinkers and start informative dialogues amongst our peers and we can only do that if we open minded and willing to learn from one-another.